A solitude which primes to depression.

Lonesomeness is what furnishes us with dejection of the gloomy reality of what mantles our lives, we believe that depression is seeing someone wearing a low-spirited face filled with sadness yet the opposite might be the reality. 

How many of those that we feel are the happy campers and couples who we might consider as goals being cramped with misery despite awe-inspiring admirers might have nevertheless still loneliness curbs them when the cameras are off? These excitements come in due to the preconceived notion of what we feel we possess. Such as fans, plus wealth, but we are inept of owning the most precious of all which is our own heart. 

I can relate this scenario with the prudent words of Sushant Singh Rajput who committed suicide in Mumbai, an individual who was awarded as the best male actor in Indian Film Festival of Melbourne in 2017, saying ‘No matter what you achieve, what you want to aspire to be, or how famous and powerful you become, the most important thing is whether you are excited about each moment of your life because of your work and the people around you. 

Quit inspiring words but the question remains, are we excited to wake up every single morning, or are we on the verge of seeing death as a sign of tranquillity? Why do we feel lonely, Isolated, Despised, Unwanted, and Uncared for, or even Unattended? Do we feel segregated in this world and need help? Look around and see how many broken hearts, shattered dreams, dismissed thoughts, or even condemned potentials that are being verified by human critics. Should we listen to them, is a query that we are confused about, we lack the understanding to see beyond what we can reflect.

The above conveys us to the succeeding segments of a prevailing message from Sara Hegazy - Egyptian LGBT activist who committed suicide in Canada, saying ‘To my siblings – I tried to find redemption and failed, forgive me, to my friends – the experience (journey) was harsh and I am too weak to resist it, forgive me, and to the world – you were cruel to a great extent, but I forgive.’

The world is exacting with no doubt, the only aspect we need to adapt as individuals is we can only be at ease if we can appreciate our lives by seeing the world through the shoes of those who are below us instead of vying with those above us. 

The instant we can be grateful for our health by regarding those who are in Coma or those who have paralyzed, is the moment where we can appreciate our limbs by looking at how those without limbs can survive? If we can adapt this kind of notion then we won’t appreciate our lifelessness, but more besides that is the point of accumulating values…

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/sushant_singh_rajput_811912

By Dr. Mohamed Bahaidar (Expert on social issues, Recipient of the most distinguished award in the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia, Author of The Hidden Self, The Point of Deflection, A Household of Bliss, Sparkling Hope, and Mirror Reflection.)

You hail from what you have been through.

Life has never been reasonable at any given time. While success is all we yearn for, we are confused about what to assume since we all along equate our triumphant moment to be a rosy garden with a red carpet laid on the ground for us to head to our goals. A smooth transition is what we desire. But does life work in that manner? 

A charming smile is what we feel obliged to wear while a crowd of paparazzi is busy clinging to their cameras with a lot of questions being posed to us on how we managed to get to the finishing line, being awarded a trophy on the stand of a podium, an arena filled with a multitude of people chanting our names. That is what we feel the reality of our dreams should be but is it? Life is contrary to what we envisage, a total contrast of the harsh reality facing us as an obstacle to our success. 

Sometimes we get to a point in life where we are incapable of grasping the situation, bursting with insurmountable pressure coming from all directions. It takes concrete groundwork in our well-being to survive the thunderous blows which are channeled in our way, yet we still need to be steady and resilient with an undying effort of diligence and a tangible stand of not giving up on what we hold dear to us. 

A relentless struggle of overcoming hurdles after hurdles, a continuous act of dwindling. But we still wake up, dust off, and move on as though nothing solemn ever happened. We sometimes get to a point where we get overwhelmed and feel the need to just throw in the towel. Fed up with continuous criticism and a life of misery, we feel we can no longer handle it, but once we give up, what’s next? If we don’t strive to prove the naysayers wrong, what purpose would we have served on this earth? 

The aftermath, as usual, is depression and maybe suicide. So, the only question left with us is either to halt or rise and advance with our mission, what you pick is all up to you. Let us heed some lessons from a mentor of patience and assiduousness. Thomas A. Edison attempted virtually 10,000 ways on how to invent the electric bulb. To him, all that was not a failing process, but a learning progression. 

We need to work on how we can acquire a positive attitude and having the free will of an optimistic mindset so that we can triumph. It doesn’t matter what we face. Sometimes it might be difficult to accept what stares right into our eyes or even to let go of what we treasure. Have you ever heard the statement “when it rains, it pours”? 

Sometimes one might encounter challenges ending up with a loss, it could be betrayal or being burdened with financial issues such as bankruptcy and indebtedness. It might be difficult seeing your empire collapsing or letting go of who is dear to you in divorce or the act of accepting the fact that someone you’re love passed away. It is difficult, hard-hitting to say the least, we can cry for a while, sympathies for a season, but then what next? 

I know in such circumstances, confusion overwhelms us, not knowing the next course of action. Since all the awful moments come at once, we might not want to remember or even think of it. The world seems to have left you all alone, dazed with situations that you can’t even comprehend. When nothing seems to make sense and hopelessness threaten to engulf the little life out of us, that’s when we say it’s either do or die, and life must go on. 

So, don’t allow situations to put you down; you are more than a conqueror, a unique miracle to the world, a champion who won the race of 100 million sperms, aren’t you worth anything? What I would recommend you do is search within you for the seeds of greatness that sow in you, so that you can rise and shine the sparkle in this world with your exclusive aptitude. 

We tend not to realize that our true strength lies in how we overcame our struggles, how we rise from the ashes, from the shaming path which we commenced with to where we stand today. We believe those atrocious incidents of our former self once exposed will deprive us of our decency, yet in the real sense, they expose the heroes and heroines within us. 

We are all destined to be someone at some point, and it doesn’t matter when the dream will come to pass. In existence, there are more than just mere dreams. We need to stop dreaming and start walking the steps of the dream for ourselves. We all go through bitter moments, but do we stop there, or do we grow and heed the lessons taught by nature. 

One might look at a duck on a pond that seems so serene, but what we do not see is the struggle going on under the surface of the water. We all paddle in our ponds. The only moment we stop paddling is the moment we stop living, which could be scary for most of us. But our journey is meant to have one lane, just to forge forward and there is no turning back. It is the ultimate desire of every living individual to enjoy life, be happy and it is through the same that we attain our dreams…. 

By Dr. Mohamed Bahaidar (Sociologist, Recipient of the most distinguished award in the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia, Author of The Hidden Self, The Point of Deflection, A Household of Bliss, Sparkling Hope, and Mirror Reflection).

When you have no clue, where you’re heading to, then any lane can guide you there!

An unsettling reality through the toxic notion that subsidizes our immune system as well as our confidence. This is what impairs our formative years. Fault finding is an art we are accustomed to as a society, we rarely see something positive. Our insights are rigged with pessimistic ideas. 

A single member that has a sour frame of mind can blemish the atmosphere of an entire family. As long as we are groomed to see predicament as a problem and not otherwise then this doesn’t only affect us as young lads, except grows further and affects those who we surround ourselves with. Just as a ghastly tomato destroys others in a bunch then likewise one cynical thought can tarnish our mentality, furthermore, it grows stronger to be contagious in our society.  

   

We should bear in mind that criticism carries more weight in our life and resides with us similar to how a dark stain dents a white shirt contrary to positive praise. This is the exact rationale media outlets have a specialty in. Since finding someone’s grime (scandals) has a high chance of drawing customers’ attention plus being perceived as more true than an extol. 

We are misplaced in this tight spot unacquainted on how to take charge. Aren’t we perplexed on how a young kid who has a mission to go all-out for success resting on that is the fact that all efforts are facilitated to pleasing their parents, however, when the results are out what runs through the guardian's obscured mind is the one subject which he failed then grumbles disregarding the other 11 subjects which are straight A’s? 

Having a well-founded perception that if you praise a kid then what will follow will be a sluggish performance not realizing how destructive we are towards our kids demolishing their self-esteem as well as self-reliance. 

It might seem gruesome just the fact that you took notice of it, nevertheless, these factors do exist in our communities and parents having a trend of name-calling their kids with ill comments, lashing them into despair. 

These kids grow up in search of a mentor to cover the breach which is caused by the parents and the fact that they refused to assume a place where kids can have a friend as their parents, and a role model at the same time. What they are looking for is just that liberty of being able to converse and come to common terms.

A father might feel relief to growl when he is at home, depositing his anger towards the children and likewise a mother seems to incline in the same direction. Verbal abuse and corporal punishment have been made by parents as their source of stress discharging. 

How can we be keen on love if we are surrounded by negative vibes? Instead of attachment we foster hate and create distance between us and that is the same reason we can’t even talk politely. 

We have to understand our thoughts, distance our hearts and the only way to get the other one to hear you is through shouting, but the question remains till when will we be this way?

All these are as a result of our subsequent downbeat thoughts, and the frustration which we have given copious power to depict foregone conclusion in all that we see. Now, as these kids grow up they need to develop a default system of the brain that tunes them to only remember the risky and traumatic experience with vague images of the good old day. 

I wish I could tell you it is much easier since to clear this obscuring negative thought is similar to a vessel of muddy water, however much clean water we pour into the jug. What we can only see is just impure water. 

Who do we have as a leader and a mentor is a question with no riposte? A shocking reality which we need to work on to improve what seems to be a norm. This is a grave mistake that acts as a tinge in our community.

10 transformative facts in our life.

1. We require guidance to enhance our living standards.

2. Absorb the fact of not taking things personally.

3. We should occupy ourselves as an alternative to being idle.

4. Reset our default.

5. Learn how to transform our problems into challenges.

6. Learn to make your bed, to despise the negative vibes.

7. Set reasonable goals.

8. Distinguish between emotions and thoughts.

9. Study our hurdles and bear them as our means and not our end.

10. Be content with who you are and what you have.

By Dr. Mohamed Bahaidar (Expert on social issues, Recipient of the most distinguished award in the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia, Author of The Hidden Self, The Point of Deflection, A Household of Bliss, Sparkling Hope, and Mirror Reflection.)

Present Day

Present Day.

What I see in this contemporary generation is an irony of existence. Jumbled with nature, we verify our choices, however, still stranded with our substantial contentment. Through the variety of choices of leisure, we have to pass time in but that doesn’t mean we are at liberty to be blissful in our life. In reality, the opposite might happen.

Let’s just focus on how we have so many options for these entertainments and activities with a question in mind: Why are we still less happy?

The world has to turn out to be accessible, and if exotic cuisine is what you’re looking for to pass your time, then its diversity might overwhelm you on how a single click of a button might take you through time and routes on how these foods came about. Yet with all that, the question to ponder, do we have more appetite or less?

On the strength of the above, it brings us into our second point: how equipped we can easily be through widespread knowledge? Funny enough, the more know-how we acquire the shallow our minds have become with less creativity. How many of us are ready to waste 20 years in school just to be hired with no initiative to be ingenious with a strategic plan on how to let money work for us instead of the contrary?

We are encircled with adequate expertise. For instance, if we talk about a doctor who might be well informed in their field of proficiency, then let’s look around on how the disease has overawed us with no curative drugs. The question remains: are we getting better or are we immersing ourselves into a conduit that we won’t be able to come out of?

We have a lot of sophisticated gadgets, but no happiness. A lot of excitement fencing us. Starting from those who see clubbing, drinking, and using substances as part of their amusement to those who have perceived to be Workaholic or Shopaholic as their source of tension discharging. Despite using the art of occupying ourselves and using temporary excitement as happiness, we still are left with a miserable life, a void in us that can’t be tapped.

We have a lot of interactions as well as followers on social platforms yet we don’t know who our neighbours are as well as being unsure of who is our genuine friend. Life has not only diminished in span but also value and appreciation.

Just the fact that we can brag on how we possess tall buildings with peddling treasure that we do not know how to utilize, we are still beached by the fact that we have no one who can listen to us. Enclosed around individuals who are out of character and bad humour. It should have surprised us just the idea of how transportation and technology are easier and faster, yet we still feel we have very minimum time which leaves us with a lot to do but none to achieve. 

Let’s have a discourse of how we are tangled with the incompatibility of Personality in our society. Just as we have been brainwashed to be certain with the fact that to trend is to be in a state of undress, we live in a generation where no song or movie will ever hit box office unless obscene scenes are involved. 

Flattering with a preconceived notion: don’t use your sentiment you will get hurt, use your mind to find comfort and happiness, is what we are trained to understand. And the fact that cheating on your spouse is a sign of smartness, we have been filled with fear of the word marriage while the concept of come we stay normalized. What we are left within our cohort is the word Love which is very expensive that we can’t afford. The contrast, Sex has become cheap and can be found anywhere…..

By Dr. Mohamed Bahaidar (Sociologist, Recipient of the most distinguished award in the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia, Author of The Hidden Self, The Point of Deflection, A Household of Bliss, Sparkling Hope, and Mirror Reflection).

Riotous Death Of George Floyd

 “When you take notice of the name George Floyd, what thoughts run through your head? Pain, racial discrimination, retaliation, upheaval, plus the term ‘black lives matter’. 

 

Our exertions are usually stricken by what we leave behind, as a father figure we are groomed to protect our own. We urge their comfort by ensuring ease in their path, contrary to that a guardian leaves behind a 6-year-old daughter devoid of a father and a wife with no husband, his demise pact elation in the black community which conveyed revolution to the world.” 

 

Let’s ask ourselves how comes just one more incident was sufficient to trigger us for change with the term “I can’t breath”. Could we resound through this peculiar-story to the demeaning fact that we go through as race in suffocation, which has always been a norm, whereas knees being pressed on our necks is what we are accustomed to? 

 

Igniting emotions in commemoration of losing (Ahmaud Arbery & Breonna Taylor) noting that racial biases don’t end with those who are at the bottom, but even when you climb the stairs of success they trail. Who else is well known as the first African American president (Barack Obama) being demanded for a birth certificate when vying for POTUS position, and later being told he was grossly incompetent during his reign. Do you think this ends in American let's talk off Meghan Markle, who had to renounce the Duchess of Sussex position? 

The Irony of the world we live in is that they preach democracy to the world while their law enforcement is bridging all human rights; claiming to advocate peace, the administration is looting and filled with stains of human blood throughout the African continent and the Middle East; Imposing gender equality and LGBTQ partisan while we segregate people by giving precedence to the white even though we all know the Indigenous of America are not even white?

 

What we are left with is a staining sting with vivid motion of poignant pain that succumbed to Floyd at the moment where Derek Chauvin was pressing his knee on his neck, causing chest pains and thirst, curbing him from breathing. The only thing he called out in desperation was “Mama” who died two years ago. 

 

This incident brought Law enforcement to their knees at a stance of resonating with the crowd, with passable grounds to wipe off the pandemic hype of Covid 19.”

 

- Food for thought, what are we in search for? Equality or equity....

- Let the voice be heard!      

 

By Dr.Mohamed Bahaidar (Expert on social issues, Recipient of the most distinguished award in the Middle East, North Africa and Asia, and an Author.)